Sleepless

It’s 3 AM. I’ve just slowly drifted up from my dream world. I lie here, trying to climb back in and catch the thread of the story. I’m hoping for a few more hours of that sweet sleep. But then those thoughts start darting around like shooting stars – – impossible to grab ahold of, one after the other. Just like the night skies in the mountains, they come from random directions without any connection.

I know I’m not alone in this Circadia rhythm disruption. I hear the complaints of others, frustrated with the lack of sleep. I’ve taken to listening to a podcast by a neuroscientist who specializes in sleep disturbance. I love his voice. It has a very soothing quality. Every now and then he tells these stories that he calls “sleep stories“. They are basically bedtime stories for adults, spoken in a way to help you drift off into oblivian. And then there are those sleep apps that offer the sounds of rolling waves crashing on the beach, or gentle rain falling alongside some wind chimes.

Apparently sleep has become a very real issue for many. Professionals are adding it to the list of disorders. Is it the pace of life? Is it the chaos of the world? Is it the technology with its electromagnetic frequencies? Perhaps it’s just the cycles of life, but there seems to be a lot of tired people.

I often used to pray in those wee hours when sleep was so elusive. I would seek the mercy and grace of God for those I love and for those I knew were struggling with the battles of life. It felt a privilege to lay their burdens before the throne of the only One powerful enough to defeat the foes. And while I still whisper up the needs, I find it difficult to stay focused, to beseech with the same zeal of the past.

I long for a steady pattern of eight hours a night, but if I am going to be awake, I don’t want it to be a waste of time. I don’t want to chase shooting stars. I want to grab ahold of the bright and steady Morning Star who holds everything together by the power of his Word. His ear is attentive, and I want my heart and mind to hone in with regard to Whom I am speaking. He deserves my reverence, my full attention. Oh, he knows my weakness and he loves me still—I don’t feel his judgement weighing down on my scattered self. And this makes me feel all the more eager to be vigilant in these awakened moments. I can lean into him and rest in due time. My mind will eventually drift back down and begin to weave a new story. And when I awake he is still with me.

"I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star."

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭22‬:‭16‬ ‭

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭

“Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance. The Lord be with you all!”

‭‭2 Thessalonians‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ‭

Neglect or Reflect

I don’t know about you, but sometimes it’s just so easy to neglect the holiness of God. It’s not that I forget that he’s holy but rather I neglect to be conscious of this fact, careless at times. A subtle slacking can be effortless but leaves a dullness in its shadow. I’m not suggesting that I should be walking around in a hair shirt and whipping myself because of my humanity. After all, this was the whole purpose of Christ’s crucifixion—to set us free from that fallen human condition of sin. Yet, freedom can also give us a false sense of comfort about our own goodness. Forgiveness is a gift. I’ve done nothing to earn it. Christ did everything to give it.

So, what does holy mean? Well, Webster’s says “exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness”. While God cannot be defined to our full understanding, he has clearly revealed aspects of his nature and character through his creation and written Word. In the Old Testament he manifested himself in very majestical ways. He appeared to Moses in the burning bush. He guided the Israelites through the wilderness with his constant presence in the pillar of fire. In the New Testament 1 Timothy 6:15-16 refers to him as “he who is blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion.” These are some seriously powerful images.

This is a God who deserves my reverence. He is not a Sunday morning God or a religious holiday God. He is an ever-present, every day God. In fact, he is my Heavenly Father. He is a person, not an entity detached from me and my life. His transcendent, unapproachable light descended in the form of Jesus to make himself known to me, to you, to everyone. How much more worthy is he of our attention?

Life is busy and there are commitments and responsibilities that thread their way through our lives. And we are meant to take care of these things. We are not asked to be on our knees 24/7 like the cloistered monastery life. Family, friendships, work and play are all gifts from above. We are intended to enjoy this life in all its abundance. However, let’s keep in mind from Whom and where these great blessings come. Let’s remember the holy, holy, holy Giver the angels see daily and bow before in reverence. One day, we too, by God’s grace, will see him face to face. Let’s bow now so we don’t need to tremble later. Let the first light of each morning fill us with a sense of awe and reflect on the Maker of all things good and beautiful.

“Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. For since the message declared by angels proved to be reliable, and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation? It was declared at first by the Lord, and it was attested to us by those who heard, while God also bore witness by signs and wonders and various miracles and by gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will.”

‭‭Hebrews 2:1-3

“For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭2‬:‭16‬-‭18‬ ‭ESV‬‬